I left my hat on...

Turpentine and bright lights have acquired a new meaning for me.
Last night I posed for my artist lover and for his six artist friends. I sat naked for two hours and wondered about desire.
I took my dress off and told them I would leave my hat and my red stilettos on; I sat on a high chair, and began to look at them.
I have exposed my body in many different ways, but I don't think I have ever exposed it like this, utterly naked, motionless. I sat naked for two hours in the same position and watched them watching me. My body hurt, and I browsed them. They told me not to. I had to stare at one point and not move my eyesight from there... I cheated when I thought they weren't looking, they were always looking.
My body hurt, I needed to move just a bit, to feel I was still me, I hadn't turned into just somebody else's desire. I began to move my pelvic muscles, my orgasm muscles. I stopped. I couldn't see if they could see I was moving them, under an enigmatic situation, better to cease and wonder than to continue and wander. I felt faint, the light was too bright, I asked for wine, water, and a spliff. It made me more nervous to drink in front of the canvases than to just sit.
Just sitting requires so much more effort than I had known, and my thoughts wondered around, listening to the music, exploring the artists' gestures, feeling myself being watched by so many.
I stared at my lover, he was so professional, every brushstroke, I realized, was aimed at caressing my body. I couldn't stare too much at him because I smiled and my sensual gesture changed.
I felt as if I was an Anaïs Nïn character, being painted by a lover and his friends.
They were done, I put my dress back on, took off the shoes and the hat and looked at what had come to pass between my nakedness and some canvasses. I didn't recognize myself, but I knew myself wanted and gorgeous.
After the session, a couple of orgasms and spankings later, as I was naked, once more, but not alone in my nakedness, I asked my lover if he didn't mind that his friends saw the body he was making love to at the moment. He grinned. And I realized, so many hours later, what had really happened.
My posing was just the excuse for my lover to show me off to his friends.